With advances in reproductive technologies it seems that there is no shortage of things we can do to (for) infertile couples trying to start or extend their family. Nothing seems to be out of reach anymore. We have an alphabet soup of procedures including IUI, HSGs, L/S and H/S, SOIUI, IVF, ICSI, GIFT, ZIFT, PGD, etc., etc. If a woman doesn’t have eggs, we can get some from someone else. If a man doesn’t have sperm, ditto. Testicular biopsy or epididymal aspiration with intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) has changed the outcomes for men with azospermia or after vasectomy. Women without a uterus can find a gestational carrier. Serious gene defects can be weeded out and eliminated from the gene pool of the next generation using preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). The number of things we can do is astounding, but so is the cost.
Living in SC, I’ve felt a reluctance on the part of certain couples to go to the extremes, even to IVF, when other plans don’t pan out. There are concerns about creating life that they won’t be able to nurture and protect. These couples may have the financial ability to make use of our latest miraculous cures, but choose not to go there for other more personal reasons. Even here concessions can be made and explanations given that can ameliorate concerns and provide avenues that are more acceptable, such as freezing oocytes (eggs) instead of fertilizing them with a sperm.
The second group that stops short of taking advantage of the most advanced techniques are those that don’t have health insurance, or have insurance without infertility benefits. Financial capital, like emotional capital is not an infinite resource and boundaries should be discussed so that couples know when enough is enough. When all else fails, there is still adoption, which also can be very expensive. Donor egg cycles continue to excalate in price as donors get more and more for donating their eggs. Keeping resources set aside for this choice is an important consideration as well.
Finally, there are those that have done it all and still are not pregnant. Sometimes, these couples have skipped a step along the way, heading straight to IVF and IVF hasn’t worked. My first patient that I diagnosed with implantation failure and endometriosis had spent her $25K of insurance on 3 IVF but had never had a laparoscopy. She now has three beautiful children after laparoscopy found and treated her underlying problem and she was able to conceive naturally. Fast forward 20 years and its still happening (http://www.ghsumc.org/FertilityCenter/wilmas_story.htm). Even so, we see couples occasionally who baffle the experts and have no known reason for their infertility. They’ve submitted their bodies to all available tests and procedures and still don’t conceive. Nothing seems to work. There comes a time in the relationship when I know its time to stop. Being an optimist, I find it hard to admit defeat. Still, it is our duty to our patients to recognize in them when it is time to stop trying or to take a break. Sometimes they agree and sometimes they don’t. A second opinion is always OK to recommend as well.
I hope that all patients with infertility seeing specialists can maintain some control over their journey through infertility and have the type of relationship with their doctor where they can have this discussion, if necessary. Not everyone gets pregnant but everyone should be allowed to stop, even when enough is not enough.